New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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