she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
