please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
