I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
