he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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