is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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