Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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