So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
