you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
