I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
