Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
