what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
