Soap is not a condiment
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
