i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
