We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
