I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
