It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
