We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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