God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
