Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
