She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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