We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
