We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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