we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Text me some of your sweat
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
