yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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