After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
