my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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