I accidentally burped into my bong.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
