You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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