I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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