Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
