I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
