Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
