Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
