Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
