Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
