chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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