I am puke
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
