how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
