Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
