So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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