You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
