Pappa wants mamma naked
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
