The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
