Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
