The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
