Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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