he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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