she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize