DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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